Do we really make ourselves understood? - The Mind Workshop

Words convey beliefs and ideas but what about meaning?

From a lexicographical point of view we all have the same words and we all attempt to use them in the correct place at the correct time.  How often though, have you thought about the interpretation of the words you speak by those with whom you communicate and how their interpretation evokes the response you get?

Words may not bruise us or leave external scars, but they are no less painful when used in a certain way.  The way we use words can create action and motivation to do something or cause those with whom we are communicating to ‘close the door’.

The reality in the meaning of any communication is in the response you get.

Thought is the blossom; language the bud; action the fruit behind it.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

The way we communicate to ourselves and others is the way we make sense of the world, whilst it expands our capacity to broaden our world, it also binds us by the internal representation we have of those words and they way they are delivered, either internally or externally.  Due to the amount of information that we are bombarded with every second we all ‘filter’ the input – by deleting, distorting and generalising.  We create ‘Internal Representations’ (pictures, sounds and feelings) of our experiences, some good, some very limiting.  Based on this filtering and the ‘Internal Representations’ we create, we grant our selves the power to change our physiology to suit the situation which can be done in an instant.

To give an example, if you believe that your boss or someone in your family is an incompetent fool that is what you will be saying to yourself as you go and see them.  You don’t merely think it, but you have ‘Internal Representations’ (pictures, sounds and feelings) of previous encounters and experiences  that prove it – using your filters you will have distorted, generalised and deleted to create your reality.

The problem now, is your physiology will have changed to suit the situation, your tone of voice and the words you use will also maintain your reality. Sadly, it is now their turn to use their filters and given your behaviour, do you think they will be supportive? It is highly unlikely – and more so they will have proven based on your reality that they are indeed an incompetent fool!
(But what do they think about you?)
What about a co-worker or family member who thinks your ‘incompetent fool’ is wonderful?  What about their physiology going in to the same situation, their tone of voice and their use of words?  Do you think they will be treated the same? Will they have the same outcome?

It is important to remember that communication is INTERNAL as well as EXTERNAL the words you use and they way you use them are based on your filtered information about the world around you from previous experiences. It is from this that we develop internal representations about how you perceive the world (your reality) this drives your behaviours, often reinforcing that your perception of the world is ‘correct’.

You can make a conscious decision to discover the filters you have put in place and how they affect what you see, hear and feel.  This insight will make you aware of how you react to others and the limiting effects it has in parts of your life. You can consciously modify or remove those filters that do not serve you.

Want to find out more?

Click here to contact us about this article.