States, Happiness and Success - The Mind Workshop

It is impossible not to be in a ‘state’ at any given time – being calm is a ‘state’, excited, motivated, angry, sad, scared are all ‘states’.  We know how we feel but we often miss the reason why we feel it.  Some people will easily and quickly realise they enter a ‘state’, possibly nervousness, when their boss, for example, enters the same room as they, some people will feel excited when someone they really like is near-by or someone may get angry when something doesn’t quite work the way they wanted. 

As we enter each ‘state’ we also develop inner feelings associated with that ‘state’ – a tight chest or a knot in our stomach for example, possibly even showing external signs such as ‘goose-bumps’.

‘States’ are a good way of measuring what our bodies are telling us.  Sometimes the ‘states’ are reasonable and rational, however, some are damaging both in the way we allow people to perceive us (how they read our body language) and physiologically (unfounded and/or overt anger can cause stress and heart problems).  We can of course change our ‘states’ and with help get rid of ‘states’ that damage us.
(Breakthrough Sessions at The MindWorkshop)

‘States’ can be very resourceful, when we are motivated, happy or creative but conversely some ‘states’ are very un-resourceful (and damaging) particularly when we have unfounded anger or fear.  The more resourceful the ‘state’ you can put yourself in the better your over-all performance will be.

But can we maintain resourceful ‘states’ in the midst of all the challenges we face every day? The answer is YES, but it does require work on your part if you are to tackle it on your own.

• First, know your ‘states’ and what triggers them.
• Second, neutralise the triggers that put you in non-resourceful ‘states’.
• Third, optimise and add to the triggers that activate your resourceful ‘states’.

You must get to know what triggers each ‘state’. This takes some practice as you need to check your ‘state’ several times a day, noticing the key changes.  Once you have noticed your ‘state’ change, think about how this state limits or empowers you.  You will also need to track back in time to the moment that ‘state’ started identifying what started it.  Was it a phone call? Did you remember something important? Did you succeed or fail at something? Link your ‘state’ to a particular incident, something that triggered it. If you do this kind of introspection on a daily basis, you will get a good idea of what your main ‘states’ are and what triggers them.

The next step is to neutralise the trigger – you must deal with what ever it is.

Most un-resourceful ‘states’ have a higher positive intention, for example if you have been made fun of or bullied as a child anger may be a way of dealing with anyone who your inner-self may feel is capable of taking advantage of you or making you look silly – the higher positive intent is to protect you.  However, this is an un-resourceful ‘state’ and will, in the long run, only cause you further damage.
We would suggest that you consider the option of seeking professional help (coaching, therapy ). If you want to work on such issues yourself, you can try the following: Ask yourself what being in the non-resourceful ‘state’, which this particular trigger (relating to a negative past experience) causes, does for you. Ask your negative ‘state’ (anger, fear, etc.) internally, as if you were speaking to a live person: “What is your positive intent for me?” Often you will receive an answer from inside that sounds a little bit like this: “To keep you safe from this traumatic experience happening again.” In this case your negative ‘state’ actually acts as a protective mechanism that is trying to spare you from harm.

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See also ‘Your Life on a Time-Line’ ‘Parts Integration’